I don't know what I am going to do!
There is so much in my life that has gone wrong. Of course, there are the moments when good things happen, but why do the bad moments always seem to outweigh the good ones?

At this point in my life, I'm ready to start living!!!! I mean, REALLY living! And I can't, because I still want to go to school. I have found something that I'm good at. I've found something that I love. I just want to continue doing this... but not until I'm 28! I just want to go to school... doing what I love. I want to meet someone. I want to fall in love. I want to get married! I want to have a family and a career. I want to have a house of my own. I want to be able to do all this without having to A. Be in a million dollars in debt or B. Before I'm 30! At this point, I cannot do either.

I cannot pay for school. It just costs too much  money. How ridiculous is our private school system? I have to pay $30,000 a year for my schooling. Who in all of middle class America can afford that? No one! Not without taking out a crapton of loans. I personally believe that large amounts of debt are ungodly. I believe that God's plans for us do not include $100,000 worth of debt at the age of 25. How can you provide for your family when you (and probably your spouse as well) have that much debt hanging over yours heads?

I know this seems silly... since half of my schooling is getting paid for by scholarships and grants... however, that leaves me $14,000 to pay for on my own. So I took out a small student loan... about $2,000 a semester... $4,000 a year. That leaves me with $10,000 out of my own pocket. It will not happen.

My parents will not help me. And by my parents, I mean my mom. She makes these promises that I'm stupid enough to believe, and then of course, she doesn't follow through with what she says. I can't take it anymore.
There is just too much stress in my life. I can't handle dealing with my mom and my school and my four jobs and church and friends!!!!!!!! It's just too much! I can't take it anymore!

I need help!

Your eyes have captivated me
With a single piercing stare.
Blue that shines brighter
Than than the sun's brightest glare.

Your words have captured me
By uttering a single, simple phrase.
Lips that speak in worship
Of God's unending praise.

Your life has only shown me
With just two weeks of you,
That God is in the center
Of everything you do.

I want to know you better.
I want to spend more days
Just talking and discovering
The power of your gaze.

Is the pain completely gone
Or simply dulled with time?
Have I lost my ability to feel
Or is there nothing there at all?
Am I capable of emotion
Within this broken heart?
Can I ever really love again
After what my eyes have seen?
This vessel just feels battered;
No longer full of use.
It's something to be cast aside
Until someone finds it's value.